Thanks Zid for the links I just spent the last hour and a half reading Dave's posts what a story especially about Chitty. If only I had known about it all before Bethel what a difference it would have made.
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life is to short
JoinedPosts by life is to short
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95
What was it about Bethel that woke you up?
by cognisonance inone the how many exbethelites thread it was mentioned that some think one either leaves down the path towards apostasy or as a 100% true believer.
i'm curious what experiences did you face at bethel that woke you up (or started to at least)?.
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95
What was it about Bethel that woke you up?
by cognisonance inone the how many exbethelites thread it was mentioned that some think one either leaves down the path towards apostasy or as a 100% true believer.
i'm curious what experiences did you face at bethel that woke you up (or started to at least)?.
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life is to short
One of my most scarcest experiences at Bethel was when they sent me alone to the worst part of Brooklyn at that time to get birth control pills. We had no family that would help up with money even though both sides of our family were in the "truth". And we just could not afford to buy the pill.
I needed the pills not just for birth control but also for medical reason as the pill stopped the migraines that I would get and for another reason that was also quite serious and in fact a sister in the hall I went to since coming home died from because she would not talke the pill, so I need the pill for clear medical reasons. Bethel did not care and from what the rumor was one of the GB member did not like the pill and would not allow it at Brooklyn Bethel at that time at least in the ealry 90's. I heard the farm gave them out to the sisters with no problem.
So to get permission to go to this clinic I had to call some very old brother in the service department (I think it was the service department has been so long now I cannot remember for sure) and ask if I could go. He would reluctantly say OK like he was doing me this huge favor, but that my husband could only drop me off and then my husband had to go back to bethel and wait for my call to come pick me up.
The first time I went my husband dropped me off and left, like we were told we had to do. I went in and for some reason the clinic closed early that day and would not see me. I was near tear and told them I had an appointment and no one called me to let me know it had changed. I do not know if they had called Bethel and no one told me or what but the women was so rude to me. She told me that she HATED JW"S because we came in for the free pill, we were able to get them because of the vow of poverty we took and bethel gave us paper work to give to the clinic and the only reason we knew about this clinic was some sister at Bethel was like me and needed the pills and could not afford them and somehow she found this clinic and word spread through Bethel to us sisters. Basically it was welfare that we were getting while we were at Bethel.
So here I was at this clinic and they would not even let me use the phone to call my husband but even if they did he was driving back to bethel and it was a 45 minute drive one way. So I had to wait outside for almost 2 hours. So I decided to go over to the Burger King across the street to wait and as I was walking a group of young guys came toward and one of them purposely slammed into me and said to the other lets mug her. I was dressed up and totally out of place there. I was so scarred they could have done anything to me and no one would have known. One of the others in the group made eye contact with me and he seemed to have some kind of soul and he told the other to just leave me alone.
I went into the Burger King and it had three layers of glass between the teller and the customer. Even the bank I had worked at did not have that. I have never been so scarred in my life.
After that there was another couple at Bethel and the husband said he did could care if Bethel kicked him out he would NEVER allow his wife to be alone there so this brother would take four or five of us sisters to the clinic and wait for us.
Even now it makes me so hurt that they did that to us that they did not care about the women there.
Satanus, we also went to the Canada Bethel to visit and the feeling I got was they felt sorry for us in Brooklyn. They were way more friendly and they seemed so much happier.
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95
What was it about Bethel that woke you up?
by cognisonance inone the how many exbethelites thread it was mentioned that some think one either leaves down the path towards apostasy or as a 100% true believer.
i'm curious what experiences did you face at bethel that woke you up (or started to at least)?.
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I remember one of my Bethel experiences involved one of the attorneys. I did not know him by name or anything but I did know he was one of the true heavy's and he was someone with weight both ways and who you did not want to cross.
So fpr some stupid reason I was always coming into the 124 building and he would be waddling up. He was huge well over 350 pounds and he truly waddled as he could not walk fast being so fat. He always called to me HOLD THE DOOR with a very rude voice. So I held the door. He was so rude when he came up to me and he would stormed by me never saying thank you or even acknowledging I was standing there. He would only yell at me to HOLD THE DOOR so he would not have to get his key then he looked at me like I was dog poop.
This happened about four or five times in a roll. Then one day he happened to be in front of me and he clearly saw me and slammed the door shut in my face. It was so beyond rude, I was speechless.
I got my chance a very short time latter when he came waddling up and yelled HOLD THE DOOR. I made clear eye contact with him and slammed it in his face and took off. He was so hot with anger but he did not know my name so there was nothing he could do to me as I am sure he would have loved to.
It never happened again after that. I was just so blown away by how arrogant and haughty he was.
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95
What was it about Bethel that woke you up?
by cognisonance inone the how many exbethelites thread it was mentioned that some think one either leaves down the path towards apostasy or as a 100% true believer.
i'm curious what experiences did you face at bethel that woke you up (or started to at least)?.
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Reading through this thread has brought back so many painful memories.
I thought Bethel was going to be the best place I could be. It had been my goal forever but I was a sister and never thought I would be allowed to go.
I got married to my husband who is older than I am and he was the only elder in small country congregation. It was hell from day one in the hall. People would call and demand my husband's time they treated me like dirt. I was yelled at all the time and talked down to horribly. I told the CO I was loosing it and he told me that I was being selfish because Jehovah needed my husband and I could have him in the new system.
I begged my husband to put in our apps for Bethel hoping to escape where we were. We got accepted for the 90 Sands project. I was so excited that I was going to get away from the hall of hell and I just knew Bethel was going to be great. Boy was I in for a shock.
My first day there I meet my overseer and HE HATED ME he looked me up and down and just hated me. I had asked the CO's wife what I should bring to wear at Bethel and she said that I should NEVER bring any jeans. Sisters did not wear them and that if I brought any I could be looked down on. Now this was the wife of the CO who had told me I was selfish for wanting to spend time with my husband so that should have told me something but I was young and stupid. I was placed in construction working on 90 Sands and that was all the sisters wore were jeans. My overseer was so mad that first day because I did not have a pair of jeans with me. I had to go to the hopper donated cloths to get something to wear.
I remember my first day there sitting in the locker room just crying my eyes out not understanding why I was being treated so horribly by my overseer I remember thinking that Jehovah hated me. I will never forget the real pain I felt in my heart that day. I truly wanted to die.
It felt like I had jumped from the frying pan into the fire. My overseers favorite saying was that 70 to 80 percent of the people at bethel were only there for the free food and shelter. I knew he was meaning me. He was upset if I used any of the Bethel services. I got a tooth ache after I had been there six months and I would not go the the dentist because of my overseer looking down on me, my tooth fell out because of it and still today I have problems with it.
Everyone's story here on this board is spot on to what I remember. It is so sad because I truly loved the religion when I went, I was not there for any free food and it just crushed me that I was told that.
On the plus side I finally had some time with my husband for the first time in our four year marriage. As busy as we were at Bethel we had way more time together then we ever did in the congregation with him being the only elder. Its truly a sad religion that will not even let you have family time without making you feel you are steeling from Jehovah.
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Having It Both Ways
by Perry ini posted this 10 years ago.
here is an updated version fresh for the 2012 holidays :.
1. jehovahs witnesses claim to have no clergy and hence are supposed to be totally unlike christendoms' rulers who get special reverence and lord it over their brothers.
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Very well written. The huge problem is JW's do not have any critical thinking and they are proud of it.
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HELP!!! Need Contacts in Portland-Gresham Oregon
by Juan Viejo2 ina very special request for help - not money - just information!!!.
i normally would not ask this kind of a favor, but this really is important.. i am working with portland area investigators and journalists who are doing research on the whitney heichel /jonathan holt murder case and one other case involving other serious criminal activity.
they are particularly interested in anyone who might have attended kingdom halls in or around gresham and might know some of the members, former jws, or other related contacts in that area.. if you are from that area, or have connections there, please contact me via pm.
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Bump
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Did you ever have to walk out of/shut off a movie when watching with JWs?
by keyser soze ini can only recall one occasion.
it was when my brother and future wife were dating.
they had dinner at my parents' house, along with her uber-zealous/borderline psychotic parents.
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My parents would not allow me to see any movies growing up because a CO once said that we should not see any PG movies as they were graded by the world and if the world said it needed parental guidance then shouldn't that tell us something. The CO just ranted that if the world thinks it is somewhat bad then Jehovah's people should have better standards then the world! RIGHT? Thus no movies for our family and yet growing up one of my dad favorite things had been to go the movies. How said he let a stupid religion control his life. Somehow my dad took it to mean even G rated movies were so bad also so the first movie I went to see was when I was 16 years old it was Bambi and I had to sneak out of the house to see it.
Also I loved to read as a kid and I devoured book. I loved the Wizard of oz books and I got into trouble by a elder when I was 12 years old. He came by to visit my parents and I had left my book out that I was reading by mistake. I tried to grab it so I could hide it but he grabbed it out of my hand as I walked by and just glared at me after seeing what it was.
I was a 12 year old kid. It still hurts even now the way he treated me that day, the look that man gave me as a 12 year old kid was like I was pond scum for reading the book.
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Update on the Mermaid
by Cadellin ini don't post here that much, though i read posts everyday.
it's mostly because of the ie7 problem (don't use ff that much).
anyway, that's beside the point.
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life is to short
I am sorry I did not realize your husband is still an elder, my husband just walked out the door to go in service also.
I just do not get how they cannot wake up to the fact that this is a cult. It is all just so clear to me that this religion is just a huge freaking sham.
It is just mind boggling to me. It is just so hard to know that my husband is using our car and gas, the money I work so hard for, and here my husband used the car to haul around people who will not even speak to me when I see them in the store or in the mall. Yet these people who shun me who treat me like am the walking dead will sit in my car, use my gas not give my husband a dime of money and they have even broken things, I got into the car one time after he had used it in service and the cup holder was laying broken on the back seat they never even told my husband they had broken it. Yet the women who broke it shunned me at the coffee house the next week. Oh the love of this stupid religion and I am not disfellowshiped nor DA'ed I only just stopped going to the meetings.
How can my husband not see why that hurts? I just do not get it.
I am just sorry that you are going through this, this religion destroys families is all I can say.
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I am exhausted emotionally.
by PaintedToeNail ini have been reading ashley judd's 'all things bitter and sweet' autobiography, and it has exhausted me.
she paints a picture of neglect and abuse from early childhood on.
as i sat reading, i realised i was identifying with so much of what she wrote.. why, when having an emotional breakdown as a teenager, major obsessive compulsive disorder, obvious depression symptoms, would you refuse to get medical help for your child?
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Painted ToeNail
You asked if I am still with my husband and the answer is yes.
My husband was deleted as an elder in March of 2009 because of me. I was throwing a fit over the fact that we had three pedophiles in the hall.
The CO demanded that I get a handle on my feelings about them and that because my husband was an elder I would have to have them in my car and take them out in service.
It would have been over my dead body. I noticed you did a thread about you parents going out in service with a pedophile and his wife and how yet your mother shuns your brother.
I do not know what my husband would have done if I had not been so extremely mad and flipped out over it. This was a deal breaker in our marriage.
Well because I was vocal and I even sent the court and police records to Bethel the elders did not like that and so they deleted my husband because they told him I was not in subjection enough after all of his years of putting them first and being in their brotherhood they kicked him out in one night.
We have talked of splitting up, it been really hard with a lot of hurt but I do agree with problemaddict and what he/she said here
("Time only moves in one direction, and those things are no longer happening to you, so I know it sounds oversimplified, but you have to complete that circle of letting things that already happen, continue to affect your now. Know what I mean? Think on that concept for a while. That the event that caused your pain has already happened. So what causes the pain now since it isn't happening now?")
Its been so hard but my husband is not fighting me about not going to the meetings he knows I do not believe in the cult anymore and that I HATE IT now with a passion and he lets me do that without juding me now and that is huge. Plus a part of me still loves him and I feel sorry for him, he put his whole life into this cult, gave up years of making a living doing what the CO's demaned and they just dump him.
It still hurts when he goes out in service and I worry about the pedophiles that might be there. All three of the pedophiles I knew of have left the hall because of the fit I threw. I brought it out in the open not on purpose but it came out only because of how the elders were treating me. My husband was being used so much that when I stopped going it was huge news in the hall. It was funny because it truly backfired on the elders. They were blaming me for telling everyone and yet it was not me but them in a ton of ways in how they handled it.
Anyway I am trying to move for now, I am getting counselling and it helps a lot but its like being really hurt badly like breaking a bone or something that puts you in the hospital. It can heal but it still hurts when someone touches it or something that reminds you of the past. It just all comes flooding back.
I am trying to do what problemaddict said and realize that "So what causes the pain now since it isn't happening now?"
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I am exhausted emotionally.
by PaintedToeNail ini have been reading ashley judd's 'all things bitter and sweet' autobiography, and it has exhausted me.
she paints a picture of neglect and abuse from early childhood on.
as i sat reading, i realised i was identifying with so much of what she wrote.. why, when having an emotional breakdown as a teenager, major obsessive compulsive disorder, obvious depression symptoms, would you refuse to get medical help for your child?
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life is to short
"So much loneliness."
I just reread that. I can also so totally relate to that. I was so lonely that it was unreal. As a kid and especially after we were married.
My husband told me after we were married I should never have married an elder. Finally after 18 years of marriage I told told him I know I thought I had married a husband and I totally regretted marrying him, he has never said it since. I was alone so much of our marriage it was unreal.
LITS